What happens when my mother insists I be the one to help?
Accepting help from a stranger can be hard for your loved one to accept, and initially, it will be important for you to be present. This will help them to establish a solid relationship and give you the opportunity to show the nurse how you do things so that it still feels familiar, and most of all, comfortable.
Continue to let your mom, or loved one, know that YOU are the one that actually needs help and that by working together, they are helping you, to help them. This goes a long way when it comes to abandonment issues and gives a positive signal for all concerned.
Many times the response from your loved one will be, “I don’t need any help.”. If they know that by accepting help, you will feel much more comfortable knowing someone is there a part of the day, it will make them feel more empowered.
When performing your due diligence to find an in-home caregiver, ask your loved one if they prefer a male or female. However, be open to the experienced guidance of the home healthcare agency as there are wonderful nurses from all backgrounds. When set up correctly, the bonds can be very rewarding.
You may need to refer to the nurse as a “housekeeper”. This will be based on the situation and how “stubborn” your loved one may be. Sometimes someone who is there simply to help around the house is easier to accept to give them time to build trust.
Every situation is different and the home healthcare agency you choose will be able to help walk you through the possible scenarios based on their experience.